


Sixteen and Achingly Shy

by leopoldjamesfitz



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-18
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-12-31 02:54:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12122982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leopoldjamesfitz/pseuds/leopoldjamesfitz
Summary: When he pulled away, there was a watery smile reflecting on both of their features and he grabbed the handle of his suitcase, fiddling for the plane ticket. “Love you Mum,” he told her before walking toward the gate.Just before he headed in through the hallway leading to the plane, he turned around and caught her mouthing ‘Love you’ back.It wasn’t easy leaving her, not certainly so soon after Gran had passed, and knowing that she’d be all alone now, but it had been by her insistence that he took the opportunity anyway. It’d been just the two of them for years now, and he wouldn’t deny that the possibility of being on a completely different country, miles and miles and a bloody ocean away from her, terrified him.Make a friend, she’d reminded him.Now that couldn’t be that hard.For Team Engineering's "The Fitz Wish List" Wish #29 - Making a Friend At The Academy





	Sixteen and Achingly Shy

**Author's Note:**

> I know I'm almost late with this, but please forgive me, my life is a long series of almost being late for things. ;)

His Mum held onto him a little too tight, and normally, he’d argue with her about how unnaturally silly she was being, but he couldn’t find it himself to do just that today.

Perhaps it was because he felt the same amount of grief that she did today, the same amount of fear, and he could only hold on tighter to her as a result. Fitz tried not to sniffle, or show any signs of distress, because he didn’t doubt for a moment that his Mum could manhandle him back in the car at the first sign of regret and outwardly refuse his departure.

This was good for him, a new chance, something that he’d never imagined possible.

Since the S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent had shown up at his college and scouted him out, it had seemed like one largely elaborate dream that he couldn’t step out of. Never in his life would he have thought that he would catch the attention of not one, but multiple, U.S. agencies, all with a steady pay cheque promised once the beginning of training happened, of course.

S.H.I.E.L.D., in the end, really had been the best choice, though he did still kind of wish that he had accepted Stark Industries offer, if only to meet the man himself.

His Mum sniffled in his ear and broke his concentrate and he sighed, hugging her a little tighter just as the announcement that his flight had begun boarding rang over the intercom system and he knew he had to go, really, before he missed it.

“Mum,” he started quietly, trying to keep his voice steady, but it broke off in the end anyway.

“Take care of yourself, my boy.” His Mum shook her head and refused to let him interrupt as she pulled away. Her eyes were red rimmed from crying and he was pretty sure that he was no better but she held onto his face and forced him to look at her, not that he would ever dare look away. “And please, Leo, please just... find someone, okay? Don’t isolate yourself out there all by yourself.” She smiled gingerly as she spoke, though her lower lip wobbled uncertainly. “A friend to take care of you, remind you to eat every now and again.”

Fitz made a sound of disapproval and instinctively begun to argue with her, even though they didn’t have the time, but she placed her hand over his mouth and just shook her head.

“You’ll call once a week,” she told him, going over the list of things that he was sure she had nearly memorized by now. “And don’t you dare go missing a week because you’re busy. You’re not too busy for your Mum.”

He nodded as he pulled her hand away and held onto it tightly, pulling her into another squeeze. “You’ll call when you land, and when you get settled, too. I’ll be waiting.”

When he pulled away, there was a watery smile reflecting on both of their features and he grabbed the handle of his suitcase, fiddling for the plane ticket. “Love you Mum,” he told her before walking toward the gate.

Just before he headed in through the hallway leading to the plane, he turned around and caught her mouthing ‘Love you’ back.

It wasn’t easy leaving her, not certainly so soon after Gran had passed, and knowing that she’d be all alone now, but it had been by her insistence that he took the opportunity anyway. It’d been just the two of them for years now, and he wouldn’t deny that the possibility of being on a completely different country, miles and miles and a bloody ocean away from her, terrified him.

Make a friend, she’d reminded him.

Now that couldn’t be that hard.

\- - - - - - - - -

One thing Fitz had forgotten whilst making that promise to her was how horrible he was at talking to anyone. Ever since Bobby Miller had befriended him in the second grade, only to steal his science fair project and take the credit for it, Fitz had learned that people had an inevitable bad side to them.

And of course, as the years progressed and he began moving up throughout the grades much faster than anyone else, it became harder to make friends with people, as no one, really, wanted to be friends with someone who was half their age and had twice their IQ.

So, for the most part, he’d spent most of his life alone. His Mum tried her best, really, but she could never understand the technical talk that he would go into when trying to describe a project for her, and could never understand why he was either excited or mortified about it.

In a lot of ways, his Mum was his best friend, which probably seemed sad enough, but she’d at least tried to make him feel normal throughout the years he’d flown through school. Especially since his Dad had finally run off on both of them just a handful of years before.

When the flight landed, he was awakened by a kind stewardess who gave him a pack of peanuts that he’d missed in flight and helped him with his carry on. He thought she might just be pitying him, clearing flying alone, but she was just trying her best to be friendly, he supposed. But that wasn’t the kind of friend his Mum had warned him about.

It was July 13th and just a month from his birthday, and he was in a different country with no knowledge of anything or anybody. He couldn’t be more terrified if he tried.

There was an agent waiting for him when he stepped into the arrivals bay, holding a tiny sign with his full name and ‘Cadet’ written in front of it. She was kind, but didn’t say much to him once he grabbed his luggage, and almost immediately handed him off to the RA when she brought him to the dorms.

It was only after she was gone that he realized he hadn’t even caught her name, and in his bewilderment, forgotten to thank her.

He was given one of the separate dorm rooms, which meant he wouldn’t have to share a room with anyone, which suited him just fine. Honestly, the more he thought about it, the more the idea of having to share his space with someone turned his stomach and he was very glad that he’d managed to win whatever lottery there was in this case, though it seemed the more he looked into it that every S.H.I.E.L.D. Cadet had their own space, for their studies and not to allow distractions.

Classes didn’t start for another couple of weeks, but they’d booked the flight earlier to allow him time to get used to his surroundings, get used to the dorm. He found out very soon that he was one of just a handful of people on the actual campus itself, and more would arrive later that week.

And despite his best efforts, he didn’t make good on the promise to his Mum. Everyone was still older than him, which shouldn’t have bothered him because really, he’d spent most of his life in those shoes, but nobody wanted silly things like friendship. S.H.I.E.L.D. Academy was already proving to be quite competitive, and for that, he begun to fall more and more into isolation.

He bought his books the moment the sizable scholarship that S.H.I.E.L.D. Academy had offered him (something that would reproduce every year just the same) and began studying in his room, not finding it necessary to crawl out of his dorm if everyone who was on campus turned their noses up at his existence.

Fitz didn’t think that making friends in a place like this was possible, and for the most part, that was okay. At least he wouldn’t have to worry about any distractions over the next couple of years.

\- - - - - - - - -

On the first day of classes, just a few days shy of his sixteenth birthday, he got paired in his first chemistry lab with a Cadet by the name of Jemma Simmons, who to his surprise was his age.

(Though, she would remind him in a few years that she was _twenty-three_ days younger than him.)

And of course, being the general prat that he was, he managed to muck up any chance at being friends with her in the first few moments of their meeting. All by opening his dumb mouth. Jemma didn’t say much to him after that, just kind of looked at him like he might light on fire at any moment.

The longer she looked, the more he wished that spontaneous combustion _would_ happen.

Despite the fact that he couldn’t find any reasonably intelligent words to share with her other than ‘yes’ or ‘no’, they got along very well. And worked swimmingly in the lab together. They were easily some of the more intelligent Cadets, not to crush anyone else’s egos, but it was true.

Simmons became more and more angry with him, too, and he could never understand what it was that he was doing to enrage her so much, but it did get to the point that he walked in one February evening to her begging their lab instructor to switch her with someone else.

“He _hates_ me, Professor Reinhart.” She was saying, gesturing wildly as she did and the elderly man looked bewildered by her passion. “I can’t work with him. He’s not giving me anything, I feel like I’m getting dumber by the moment! He’s just agreeing with me with everything!”

Fitz might’ve backed right out of the lab then and there if Professor Reinhart hadn’t caught his gaze and whilst looking toward him, Jemma turned her head too, turning instantly bright red. Without another word, she dipped her head and turned to move back to their lab bench without looking up. Professor Reinhart himself looked sheepish, and perhaps a little bit sorrowful for Fitz.

When their lab ended nearly three hours later, Jemma moved to put everything together in hyper speed, as though she couldn’t wait to get out of there. Fitz didn’t blame her much, because even despite her outburst, he hadn’t found the words to share with her throughout their lab that particular evening.

If anything, her outburst that he’d mistakenly walked in on had made him want to revert further into himself.

“I don’t...” he screwed up his face as he began speaking, clearing his throat, catching her before she managed to evade him. Cadet Simmons stopped in her place, looking over at him. “I’m not good...” he sighed, clenching his hand into a fist. “At this. Talking.”

Simmons snorted in response, putting the beaker on the drying rack and disposing of her gloves as she began to unbutton her lab coat, rolling her eyes for extra effort. “I could have told you that, Cadet Fitz,” was all she said before she hung her coat up, grabbed her things and trotted off.

Fitz groaned loudly into the silent lab and would have slammed his head into his hands if it hadn’t been the chemical residue all over the gloves he was wearing.

Lab safety first, mid life crisis later.

\- - - - - - - - -

He and Cadet Simmons didn’t stop working alongside one another, despite her best efforts, but slowly, the animosity that once existed between them began to shrink. If only by micromillimeters at a time.

Fitz spoke of his anguish on the phone with his Mum, who endlessly reminded him that the first step to making a friend was being nice and just talking to her, and wouldn’t take ‘Cadet Simmons is out to ruin my life’ as an acceptable reason not to talk to her, because his Mum was suddenly on Cadet Simmons’ side.

“You’re a grump, my son.” She told him over the phone one late night, and he knew it had to be past midnight there, but she was staying up talking to him anyway. “You always have been, you were the grumpiest baby, don’t think I got a picture of you with a smile on your face at all.”

“Thanks, Mum.” Fitz scoffed, rolling his eyes as he flipped the page of his physics notebook, looking down over it. The material he was studying he’d mastered already, but it was just the second semester. He was hoping that it wouldn’t be like university all over again soon enough, but as it stood, everything was just rudimentary.

“All I’m saying, my boy, is try being nice to the girl. And saying ‘hello’ or ‘good morning’. Buy the girl a tea, she’s a brit, isn’t she?” Fitz tried not to be bothered by the fact that his Mum was more or less influencing him now, knowing that ultimately, she just wanted what was best for him in the end. And she worried about him too much. “Even make one from the stuff I sent with you and bring it in a thermos. A small gesture goes a long way.” She told him gently, making him sigh on the other end of the phone in pure exaggeration.

Fitz grumbled quietly, not saying anything for a moment. The last thing he wanted was to share some of his favorite blend of tea with Cadet Simmons, but his Mum did have a point. Simmons did kind of think he hated her anyway, she might not even drink it. It was a win for him if she didn’t.

“Fine,” he mumbled into the phone. “If I take your advice, will you get off my back?”

His Mum barked a laugh into the phone, and he could just picture her there, doing her knitting and holding the phone against her shoulder with her cheek and shaking her head at that. “Oh, Leopold, I really just want what’s best for you, sweetheart. I don’t mean any harm.”

Fitz felt immediately bad for his outburst, and apologized profusely, though she wouldn’t have any of it. He knew she was just looking out for him. It wasn’t every day that your only begotten son crosses the Atlantic and spends eight months on his own, despite his promises not to do just that.

“Take care of yourself, my boy.” She told him before she hung up the phone. “In a world where you can be anything, be kind.”

\- - - - - - - - -

Jemma – _Cadet Simmons_ didn’t try to talk to him much after that, which was fine, because after the colossal mess he made of their last meeting, he was lucky she hadn’t tried to have him arrested or some bullshit. It wasn’t awkward working together, because they were endlessly civil there, but it was awkward in every other sense of the word.

Cadet Simmons didn’t speak a word to him unless she wanted something handed to her or direction on a lab.

And likewise, he did the same.

He kept his Mum’s words in the back of his mind, though as the weeks grew on and the first year of S.H.I.E.L.D. Academy ended, it seemed less likely that they could ever be anything but bitter rivals.

Cadet Simmons had no room for friends, it seemed. She just saw him as a roadblock.

Unfortunately, given that both of them were from across the ocean, they were a few of a select group of students who would be remaining on campus throughout the summer season, and that meant running into one another would be inevitable. Especially as they both signed up for similar courses, if only to kill the time.

He began making a prototype, more or less just out of boredom, one that caught the eye of Agent Weaver, and even though it was still at it’s beginning stage, he knew that it could be magnificent if it ever came to life. Unfortunately for him, there was some… biochemical errors that needed remedying, and not even the head of Biochemistry at S.H.I.E.L.D. Academy herself had wanted anything to do with that.

Agent Weaver had suggested that he collude with Cadet Simmons, but that had almost been an invitation to dive himself into a deep hole and never come out.

It was almost two months before he managed to work up the courage to think about the idea, let alone execute it.

One night in particular, they ran into one another in the lounge in the only open residence on campus. Fitz knew that, logically, they would run into each other eventually, even if their time schedules were different and he hadn’t seen her in any of his classes, but seeing her again just made all that shame build up once more.

Even more so when she immediately tried to run into the other direction.

Fitz sighed, groaning into his palms before he did something he knew he would regret for a long while to come. “Cadet Simmons?” He called out, ignoring the way she froze so suddenly it looked like she might’ve tipped over if she hadn’t managed to steady herself.

Simmons stood like that for another moment before slowly turning toward him, clutching her books a little tighter against her chest. “Cadet Fitz.” She greeted, pulling a strained smile on her face.

God, this was already a train wreck.

“I...” he took a tentative step toward her, noting that she didn’t try to step away, but she did look like she was eying all of her exits. “I’ve been working on this prototype... for analytical management… um… A device to identify and locate forensic evidence and analyze it accordingly.”

Cadet Simmons looked interested immediately, though she did reign that back as best as she possibly could, her interest turning to confusion as she looked toward him, tilting her head. “Fitz, that’s brilliant, but I’m not sure what this has to do with me?”

He was really reaching, he supposed, to give leeway to a conversation with her, but she was really the most brilliant mind, and he could use the help. He knew he could.

“Um,” he gritted his teeth together, making another step. “I’m having some... issues with the designs and what I’ve been hoping to accomplish with these...” He fiddled with the documents in his hand until he found the copy of the D.W.A.R.F.s work that he had put together, handing it to her. “Agent Weaver suggest that we work together on it.”

Cadet Simmons was silent for a long moment as she adjusted the things in her arms and opened the file, reading over the details that he had given her with careful consideration. She almost looked impressed, but he didn’t try to focus on that much. It hardly meant anything, after all, agreeing to work together, that was.

“Okay.” She said after a moment, nodding her agreement. “Um, I’m free Sunday?”

Feeling revitalized with her agreement, and little less like she might eat him alive for the suggestion, he nodded eagerly, pulling a smile across his cheeks. “That works for me.” He told her, because really, he was pretty sure that even if he were doing something on Sunday, for her, it could be moved.

(Really, he still wasn’t sure why her approval meant anything to him at all.)

“Great!” Simmons sounded less apprehensive now, more excited about the possibility, and he hadn’t given her much other than the file he’d easily spent four months alone putting the ideas together on. She began to turn, but stopped herself suddenly, looking over at him. “Just... one thing,” she said quietly. “We’re not calling them that.”

Cadet Simmons continued on her journey, though he caught the smile on her face and it replicated on his own. “Yes,” he murmured quietly, biting back a grin. “Yes we are.”

\- - - - - - - - -

Surprisingly, after that, he and Simmons got along a lot better.

He wasn’t sure if it was the clearing water, or the project they both had a massive amount of ideas for, but whatever the case, he was grateful. He took time and careful consideration to be her friend, and not her enemy.

Even though sometimes he worried that arguing with her about something about the D.W.A.R.F.s – because _yes_ , that name had stuck – would invoke her to run away and tell him to, rightfully, piss off.

He was glad each day when it did the exact opposite.

Simmons became easily one of the closest people in his life, something his Mum noticed, and it almost felt weird that they hadn’t been friends all this time, that they had been at some farfetched war with one another, because really, their minds worked better combined than apart.

He confessed to her one night that she was, really, the first friend he’d ever made and was shocked when instead of laughing at him, she wrapped him in a tight hug that made it hard to breathe.

(Whether that was from how tight she was holding him or the emotions that swirled through him was to be determined.)

“Oh, Fitz,” she whispered softly. That phrase in itself was almost commonplace to him now, something he’d heard a dozen times over but almost always in an irritated tone. It was nice hearing it so soft now, even if he’d inexplicably put himself into a fragile place by confessing that.

She hadn’t made fun of him yet, so he supposed he could call that a win.

“You’re my best friend, I think.” She told him as she pulled away, smiling hesitantly. “I’ve had... friends, I guess, you could call them, but they really just hung around so I’d do their homework for them.”

Fitz knew that all too well, and his Mum had warned him away from boys (and girls) like that, because they would try to exploit his intelligence for their own gain.

Fitz reached across the space and took her hands in his, smiling gently as he did. “Yeah,” he said in a low tone, smiling slightly in her direction. “You’re my best friend too.”

\- - - - - - - - -

At just past eleven on the night of his seventeenth birthday, there was a knock on his door. It was late and everyone should be in bed, and he wondered for a moment if it wasn’t the RA trying to figure out who was making noise, but he’d been drifting off.

With a huff, he shucked off his sheets and moved toward the door. When he opened it up, he was surprised not to find Carter, his RA, but Jemma, holding her hands behind her back.

“Simmons?” He asked quietly, furrowing his eyebrows. “What are you doing here?”

She looked out of her element, and perhaps a little frazzled, but she had a look of determination in her eyes when she looked toward him, removing her hands from behind her back to show a single, chocolate cupcake. “Happy Birthday, Fitz.”

Truthfully, a part of him wondered if she hadn’t managed to get his Mum’s number or vice versa and his Mum had called her and begged her to just spend an hour with him so he wouldn’t spend a second birthday in the States by himself, but there’s no sign of that, though he still wouldn’t doubt it.

“I...” He scrunched up his nose, biting down on his lower lip. “Who told you it was my birthday?”

Jemma blushed immediately, looking oddly like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar and dipped her gaze away from him. “You were acting rather... odd today and I couldn’t figure it out.” She confessed quietly, sighing gently. “I thought that I might have done something wrong until I overheard Agent Weaver wishing you it earlier before I went to another class.”

It was Fitz’s turn to dip his head then, looking embarrassed even though he wasn’t quite sure why. Today was just like any other day. Well, to him it was at least.

“I understand if you wanted to spend your birthday alone and I apologize if I intruded but...” She shook her head slowly, looking up at him. There was something genuine about the way she said it that threw him for a loop. He’d never had anyone in his life, other than well meaning teachers and his Mum and Gran, actually care about him. It was a strange feeling.

Jemma blushed even deeper, sighing as she dropped her hands down to her stomach, still clutching the cupcake. “It’s really silly. I just didn’t like the idea of you not telling me it was your birthday. We could have had dinner or something, made it special at least.” She continued, smiling a little at the insinuation. It could have been a perfect day, just by her description alone, but he’d gone and mucked that up too, it seemed. “I thought we were friends, Fitz.”

“We are!” He rushed to say, making her smile briefly. “I’m just... I’ve never had... someone else to share today with, except my Mum and Gran.” He confessed lamely, dipping his head. Now he’d definitely ruined it. Who would want to be friends with a loser, anyway?

Instead of laughing at him, or perhaps making fun of him, Jemma gasped quietly. “Never?” She whispered gently, and when he looked up, there was a look of sadness on her features that was unmistakeable. “Oh, Fitz, I just feel awful... No one should be alone on their birthday, or any day either.”

He looked toward her as she stepped in his room, laying the cupcake down carefully and grabbing his hand. The first thing he noticed was how colds hers were, but it hardly seemed appropriate to mention it now. “Next year we’ll do something nicer, yeah? Make up for the two we already missed?”

His eyebrows furrow in confusion. “Next year?” He asked, making her giggle softly.

“Yes, next year, Fitz.” She rolled her eyes good-naturedly and squeezed his hand tightly. “We’ll go to the cinema or something, or sit in and watch Doctor Who. But I promise that you won’t ever be alone on your birthday again.”

Fitz shrugged one shoulder, a self-deprecating smile on his face. “It’s just another day, Simmons…” He trailed off, ignoring the jump in his chest as she squeezed his hand again, shaking her head with conviction.

Sometimes he forgot how mighty Cadet Simmons was.

“It’s not.” She told him in a determined tone. “You’ll never have to be alone again, not as long as you have me.”

The truth was, he’d never met anyone like Simmons before, and would probably never meet anyone ever again, which suited him fine. He wasn’t sure this world could handle two people with her determination or her big heart. So, he nodded after a moment, words caught up in his throat and let her pull him into a hug. All the while, he tried not to cry at how inexplicably nice she was being to him.

“It’s late,” she began as she pulled away, reaching over to grab the cupcake again and hold it up in front of his face. “And I’m not technically supposed to be here, but... I did bring a cupcake for you.” Jemma continued, grinning quietly as she wiggled it in her hands. “I don’t suppose we can do a couple episodes of ‘Who before I sneak back?” She asked quietly, raising one eyebrow as she looked behind her, as though someone was listening in on their conversation.

Straightening back, she grinned triumphantly at him, allowing him to take the dessert from her hands. “It’s still early enough to salvage this birthday, don’t you think?” She asked, grinning impossibly wider when he nodded in her direction and she moved toward the door, closing it so that they didn’t alert anyone else who might be around.

He found out very soon that she was right. There was still a salvageable ounce of the day left. He also found that he was positive that he’d never find a better way to celebrate his birthday, even the last flowing minutes of it, than sitting shoulder to shoulder and watching Doctor Who with Jemma Simmons.


End file.
